If you are a person, and you were alive in the year 2020, you were probably impacted by the global pandemic in some way.  

For some of us, these changes seemed very minor–we may have kept our jobs, but had to simply wear a mask, or stay home more than usual to binge-watch Netflix.  

For others, these changes made a very real impact on our day-to-day life–we may have lost a job or even lost a loved one. Our careers may have been significantly impacted or we may have had to cancel very important plans, missed out on a big life event like a wedding, birth of a child, or memorial service.  

Whether 2020 simply pushed you down, or if it knocked you down for the count, I think it is safe to say that so many of us are sheepishly walking in to 2021 seeing what awaits us this year.  

New Year Resolutions and Goals  

For me, I absolutely love the New Year. It is a time for everyone to take a step back and reflect on what worked in the previous year, and what they hope to see change in the New Year.  

New Year resolutions are not for everyone, but goal-setting is something that is second-nature for many of us military members. We are taught to set goals, push ourselves, aim high, and be all we can be. The best way to measure progress is to set a SMART goal and make steps to help us achieve it.  

No More Goals for Me! 

So when many of my fellow military (and Type A) readers see this article title…it probably comes as a shock.  

Not making any goals!? How could you do this? How will you know if you are improving or progressing? What are you even working towards?  

When I first came up with this idea, I was shocked at myself too.  

But how many goals did I fail to make during 2020 simply because of things that were outside of my control (like a pandemic)?  

Think about it:  

All those cancelled 5k/10k/Half-Marathons I was never able to compete in. All those cancelled trips. All those post-poned (seemingly indefinite) vacations.  

It seems like the only goals I was able to meet were the ones I was able to control myself–like exercising for 60 minutes a day and reading a certain number of books.  

What Are We Even in Control of Anyway?  

That’s when it hit me…  

I was never really in control of many of these goals I was making anyway!  

So that’s when I decided to change how I make these resolutions.  

Control What You Can Control – Determine the Kind of Person you Want to BE.  

So instead of trying to create a list of several goals I ~hope~ to be able to fulfill this year, I am instead going to challenge myself in an even greater way–I am going to try to determine what kind of a person I want to be.

The process for how I intend to do this is simple:

1. Determine the kind of person I want to be  
2. What are some habits, disciplines or characteristics of this type of person I should incorporate into my routine or lifestyle?  
3. What are some ways I can measure progression in becoming like this kind of person?  

That’s all! It seems simple, but from here, once I determine the kind of person I want to be, I can then begin to determine the habits and disciplines I wish to incorporate in my life to reach my goal of being that kind of person. What will naturally come from this are achievements I may wish to accomplish…if 2021 allows…

Practical Examples of this Process 

Example #1: I want to be a present parent

1. I want to be a mom who is present and lives in the moment with my family  
2. I need to be authentic, put my phone away when I am at home, experience the thoughts and feelings I presently have instead of focus on work/school/life when I am at home 
3. Go on a road trip, set aside a family date night and actually put it on the calendar, take my daughter to work  

Example #2: I want to be a writer

1. I want to be a writer 
2. I need to spend time each day writing, read books that discuss writing techniques, listen to podcasts, join support groups  
3. Set aside time each day like an appointment on a calendar to spend writing for my blog, my memoirs, my book, etc.

Example #3: I want to be a physically active and healthy person

1. I want to be a person who can keep up with my grandchildren when I’m 90  
2. That kind of person eats a healthy diet, exercises regularly, stretches and remains flexible and safe  
3. This may require that I lose some weight, or I may decide to enter a race or engage in physical sports to track my progress here as well

Why I’m Not Making Goals in 2021

All-in-all, I am not making goals in 2021 because I am going to do what I did not do well in 2020…

I am going to control what I can. I am going to become the person I want to be. This is within my power regardless of what is happening in the world around me. I hope you do the same!